7 Things I Imagined With Gabrielle Wyatt

Abundant Single Parenting and The Founder of The Highland Project shares a path for the future

McLeod Bethune, Ida B. Wells, Nannie Burroughs, and many other women at Baptist Women's gathering, Chicago, circa 1930. Woodard's Studio / New York Public Library

How are you? My inbox is ladened with emails that point to the mass amounts of awareness necessary for the month of May. For the most part, they contradict what remains on the news: horrific dealings. So caring and keeping for one’s mental health seems to be of the highest priority and of the rarest task. Mother’s Day, a day that makes me cringe (said best by my dear friend Erin), hits in a few days. And most recently, in an instagram story, I have shared more about the importance of single-parenting, and how it is to see one’s value when every system makes it incredibly easy to pretend that these are not choices, nor lessons, or undoings. For what it's worth, as this letter suggests, I have (for many years now) considered the abundance in the choice of parenting and life in single-parenting, and lately, have been articulating the value in it. Like how it has inspired my community, while simultaneously fueling my craft and art. 

There is a history of society, events, lapse in language and easy patriarchal conclusions that has the ability to light any online conversation I would open here. One that only stirs confusion and maybe, some weird shame. So I will pause here. However, I must mention, for years though, I have leaned on Toni Morrison’s words from a 1989 Time interview two months before I was born. These words have been my companion as I have gotten up several mornings to write, meditate or simply dream. More importantly, as I have gathered my community and spoke life into this role. 

Q. In one of your books you described young black men who say, "We have found the whole business of being black and men at the same time too difficult." You said that they then turned their interest to flashy clothing and to being hip and abandoned the responsibility of trying to be black and male.

A. I said they took their testicles and put them on their chest. I don't know what their responsibility is anymore. They're not given the opportunity to choose what their responsibilities are. There's 60% unemployment for black teenagers in this city. What kind of choice is that?

Q. This leads to the problem of the depressingly large number of single-parent households and the crisis in unwed teenage pregnancies. Do you see a way out of that set of worsening circumstances and statistics?

A. Well, neither of those things seems to me a debility. I don't think a female running a house is a problem, a broken family. It's perceived as one because of the notion that a head is a man.

Two parents can't raise a child any more than one. You need a whole community -- everybody -- to raise a child. The notion that the head is the one who brings in the most money is a patriarchal notion, that a woman -- and I have raised two children, alone -- is somehow lesser than a male head. Or that I am incomplete without the male. This is not true. And the little nuclear family is a paradigm that just doesn't work. It doesn't work for white people or for black people. Why we are hanging onto it, I don't know. It isolates people into little units -- people need a larger unit.

Nearly every week, I share 7 Things that inspired me on instagram as a way to anchor my week. Recently, I have extended that series to this newsletter. And now, as we have closed Black Women’s History Month, near Mother’s Day and consider a path forward, I wanted to bring a conversation with Gabrielle Wyatt, the founder of The Highland Project to you. My hope, of course, is that between all of these things I just shared, we sit a bit, and imagine a whole lot. 

With love,

L

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What was the genesis of The Highland Project?

For generations, Black women have planted and sown the seeds for great social change in our country—and today, we still are doing that. From baking and selling pies, cookies, and cakes in beauty salons and street corners to fund the Montgomery Bus Boycott, to pooling resources to create land co-operatives, Black women have powered many of America’s most important acts of progress, together. We know the survival of our communities depends on working together and sharing resources. And while society has greatly benefited from our achievements, Black women have not. As we reach this turning point in our country, where so much is on the line, it is clear that to truly invest in building a prosperous America, the humanity of Black women must be seen, valued, and invested in.

This is why I founded The Highland Project, a coalition of Black women dedicated to building new systems that create multigenerational wealth and change for Black communities. By building this intergenerational coalition of Black women and holistically investing in their legacies with both capital and community care, we can create a more just world where everyone can thrive.

We just closed out on Black Women's History Month. As we continue the year and leave that pivotal month, what is one thing you hope for Black women moving forward?

Our health and well-being. Full stop.

Black women have always stood up and pushed for social progress, despite being deeply marginalized by the very systems they push to change. But today, as our democracy inches closer to its breaking point and our leadership is needed more than ever, Black women are too often invested in as fuel for short-term social progress rather than as humans imagining and building multi-generational change. This is a real detriment to our emotional and physical well-being. Last year, The Highland Project penned a love letter to Black women, reminding them of the imperative to prioritize personal health and well-being: "It is a health imperative. It is a justice imperative. For our health, our world, and the generations ahead. Because the revolution resides in our joy and healing."